Welcome back to Struggling Well and our podcast to you. And it's just again conversations that Suzi and I have together and we're delighted to be able to bring it to you.
It's good to be here even though I am struggling this morning, Jimmy.
Okay. Why?
Well, we just got back from the Pacific Northwest where we met some amazing people. So, this is a shout out to all you guys out there. it was a wonderful time of being with pastors and their wives and some wonderful kids just talking about what life is like right now for them. But I'm struggling because I don't do well with time change. And I'm not struggling well. Like last night, you don't know this, but I was up till 2.
Well, I knew you were up late. I didn't know how late it was, but that's really not really what the podcast is going to be.
I know. But, you know, we got to be honest with people as they listen to us. And 2 o'clock was like a joke. I couldn't believe it.
No, I hear you. what we're turning into the holidays, Thanksgiving this week, and then shortly after that, Christmas. And, just the whole idea of a day set aside to give thanks. which seems kind of benign on the surface, but sometimes giving thanks is difficult.
Well, I mean, look at what is out there in the shopping malls right now. Everything is geared towards family time together. There's, you know, we barely got through Halloween and they threw up stuff about Thanksgiving and I imagine there's already stuff up about Christmas. And I think that times like that are geared towards family gatherings, people being together, I think that's really hard. It's hard for a lot of people. Even if you're in a family gathering or if you're by yourself and don't have a family, those are hard days.
Yeah. And it's almost as if we used to do this as a family when we'd gather at Thanksgiving, you know, everybody around the table say one thing you're thankful for. and there's nothing wrong with that, but I also realize the older I get, there's a pressure that comes with that you have to find something to say thanks about.
Do you remember the time when we did that just our little family and we asked the kids to say something that they were thankful for about each one of us and I remember you asked our youngest Grayen what she was thankful for about me and what she didn't like about me and she didn't like the fact that I made her wear these lacy socks but the thing she was thankful for was that I baked cookies and I remember the dead silence in the room because
you don't bake cookies
I don't bake and I guess she thought I made those Oreos and stuck them all together in that package. I don't know. But that was a pretty eyeopening time for me.
Yeah. You know, Paul says in Ephesians, giving thanks and then these are the words that are hard always and for everything.
Yeah.
and so there's that added pressure when you know Christ. the scriptur is clear to give thanks always and for everything. And yet there are things in our lives, we've got some good friends right now who are going through some really difficult ult times relationally and I wonder how you give thanks for that.
I guess I'm thinking about family gatherings in particular. You know, we're we get together with our relatives, people we are bloodreated to for the most part.
And even though we're blood related to another, it doesn't mean that we really know one another.
And so that then brings into play a lot of interesting dynamics. maybe some agony over things that were done or said in the past or feeling unknown. unseen. trying to figure out what you are thankful for when everyone else seems to be thankful for everything that they have and what they've experienced and yet you might be walking into a room with a lot of anxiety and not know what to say and maybe say something that's really not true. and so the layers I think of people are how they feel about themselves, how they feel they fit and the gathering that's there, how they view God, it's all so intense, I think.
Yeah. And I think sometimes again there's a separation between we vertically view our relationship with the with God and yet we focus many times on the horizontal relationship with things in life. That verse I read in Ephesians of giving thanks always and for everything is one of the phrases that is a descriptor of being filled with the spirit
and there's a correlation. I think the ability to give thanks in everything and for everything and always is somehow tied in with allowing the spirit of God control in my life. And so when I don't allow him control, I think it's harder sometimes to find reasons to be thankful.
I'm in the midst of reading a book called Resilient. I'm doing it with some girls on a Wednesday morning. And it is a book that John Eldridge wrote and recommended by a friend many months ago and I picked it up because the title really caught my eye. What does it mean to be resilient? And the way I think that ties into what we're talking about is when we come to a family gathering, a lot of times we come with a lot of anxiety and lack of connection and struggle with one another and we don't feel very resilient. We don't sometimes we come in with all this stuff and John talks about three things which he relates to our relationship with God and if I might take license I would relate them to our relationships as well. He says there are three places that we end up. We're either in the shallows which is we get distracted easily when we're trying to commune with God or we're in the Midlands which is where we are worried about a lot of things and we're John Eldridge says oftentimes that's where we cry. And then there are the depths where we really let God we really commune with him and don't allow the distractions of the world nor the distractions of worry get in the way. And if I can take his three words and just take the same meanings and move them into relationship. Forgive me John Eldridge for doing that but it's such a great book. oftenimes when we come to a gathering of any kind with our family, our friends, whomever. A lot of us come in the shallows. We're very we're not really there. We're just bodily there, but our hearts aren't there and we're distracted by a lot of things and we don't really engage. Then I think sometimes we come in with the Midland idea where we're so weighed down with a lot of worries that we can't we really can't even engage in conversation because that seems to be the overwhelming thing for us. And then the last one, the depths. It certainly refers to our relationship with God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. But we come oftentimes with so much on our hearts that we really want to lean into. We want to share with people. We want to sit with it with people. And that's not always the case. It can't always happen that way. So, how do we get beyond those three levels in our relationship with the Lord and also in our relationship with others? Because I think what happens in our heart flows out into the way we relate in gatherings, in one-on ones, in our marriages, with our kids, and this time of year with Thanksgiving, all those things come into play. Where are we going to be when we come into that room full of people or how are we going to be when we walk into that room with just two or three other people?
Yeah. And so, is there a way that I can in my allowing the spirit more control in my life And as you described the different layers, can I walk into a holiday gathering, Thanksgiving, and then even flowing into Christmas with a real sense of thanksgiving? And that's our prayer that you'd be able to come into wherever you're at in life right now, you'd be able to come into those gatherings genuinely thankful to the Lord for who he is and what he's doing. And you have a prayer that you want to close us with?
Yeah, this is from a wonderful book also called Every Moment Holy and it's by Doug McKelie and it is it's incredible. I've got this one volume one and volume two which speaks more about grief but this is what he says. This is a liturgy to beginning a purposeful gathering. And so we are gathered here uniquely in all of history. We particular people in this singular time and place. Tune our hearts to the voice of your spirit. For it is you, oh Lord, who have so gathered us from our various places. Among us are some who arrive anxious, some who are lonely, some who suffer pain or sorrow. Among us are some who arrive rejoicing, hearts made light by good news, good health, and glad anticipation. Help us to prize these moments and care for one another deeply for each of us and our relationships to one another because they are precious and fleeting. Help us, Lord, to care for one another deeply and our relationships to one another because they are precious and eternal.
Great. We'll see you next time.